Princess Anna Cloak

Just before Christmas I went on a project planning (and supply buying) binge. I bought yarn (of course) for hats meant to be presents, yarn for my daughter’s soon to be quilt, yarn just for fun, Sytherin cloak fabric, lovely print knits (that will eventually be shirts for my mom), and some fleece and felt for my niece/Goddaughter’s birthday present, a princess Anna cloak. You’ve heard of the Disney movie Frozen right???

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Of course you have. You don’t live under a rock.

My almost three-year-old niece had gotten an Anna doll from another of her aunts. Her mom mentioned that the tiny girl already had a dress that matched the doll but wouldn’t it be so cool if she had a matching cloak too? (I’m pretty sure I was chosen as her godmother mostly so I’d make cool stuff for my niece.) Yes, yes it would be cool. Felt and fleece happened to be on sale just before Christmas than any other time of year and I did have some free time the first week of January. I could totally whip up a small cloak before my niece’s January 17th birthday…

Naturally I did not make the cloak before her actual birthday. Instead I started it the night before my family’s semi-monthly birthday dinners and finished it the morning of.

I found a free downloadable pdf pattern complete with tutorial at FleeceFun.com and for the most part I followed the pattern, except instead of just using fleece I layered felt and fleece. I wanted the cloak to have more stiffness than just fleece would have and I liked the idea of a two tone layered cloak with a cut out design along the edges. I cut the pattern pieces out of the felt first and then used the actual felt pieces as a pattern guide for the fleece. The plan was to just sew the magenta felt directly on top of the purple fleece and follow the construction guidelines of the pattern.

Both felt and fleece are fun to work with. They don’t slide around and neither fray so hemming isn’t necessary. However, fleece stretches and felt does not. This resulted in needing to trim the edges of the fleece under layer in a couple places after they were sewn together. For the scalloped edges we (well,my teenage son) drew the half circles around the border of the caplet and the bottom cloak with a purple Sharpie and then (I) cut around them. Originally I was going to cut out the half circles leaving the dark purple to show through but my scissors were not sharp enough for that level of detailed cutting.

I assembled the caplet (top cape thingy) layers separately first (sewed the front and back together at the shoulder seams), put the felt over the fleece with the seams facing inward (so they wouldn’t show), and sewed around the edge and through all the layers at the top of the shoulders to keep them in place. For the bottom part of the cape I just sewed around the edges of the two layers.

Attaching the top caplet, bottom cape, and collar was the most challenging part of this project. Apparently six layers of thick fabric is too much for my sewing machine to handle especially when two of the layers are gathered..

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As you can see the machine kept skipping stitches. My solution to this annoyance was to go back over the areas it skipped until they were fully stitched. That’s right, machine, you’re going to sew through those layers whether you like it or not!

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I decided not to mess with the binding that’s supposed to make the inside of the collar layers look neater and just trimmed the many layered seams.

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The closure is a hook and loop that I had purchased for a skirt that was going to be steam punk but ended up being a basic costume skirt (so no metal flair). It could be prettier but I didn’t think velcro would hold and I was not about to try a button in that thick mess.

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would  definitely will make at least one more of these cloaks…I way overbought on the fabric. There may even be enough left for two more and this was very easy to make. I would even recommend it if you have only very basic sewing skills. The Frozen fan in your life will be very impressed!

Bathroom Reno Part 2

It seems I am blogging about this bathroom renovation project at a rate that is proportionally slow to the progress I’m making on it. So as a reminder here are a couple “before” pictures:

And here’s the post about the destruction of this beaut (in case you missed it).

When I was looking ahead, tiling the floor appeared to be the most challenging and intimidating aspect of this endeavor, well, that and sawing. It turns out it was the most fun.

I had to start with a layer of thin set/mortar (they’re the same thing..Hey, it was news to me.) and cement backer board. My brother-in-law came over and helped with the cutting and manhandling of the backer board. Once we got it all cut and ready we headed back to his house to celebrate my niece’s birthday; later that night I had my first experience with mortar. It was fun. There’s something sort of zen about raking even lines through some smooth, grey mortar and then squishing it all down with a board. Joint tape is pretty fun too.

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Even with only the backer board down it’s an improvement.

And then, of course, that had to set for twenty-four hours. Almost everything does, turns out home improvement is yet another provider of lessons about patience.

During the destruction of the bathroom I saw that my toilet flange was broken around one edge. My brother-in-law none too gently hacked out the rest of it and, in the process, notices what looked like a crack in the drain pipe beneath it.

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I spent a morning stressing, Googling, and phoning a friend over those little lines down in that pipe. After assessing how difficult it would be to cut the pipe out and replace it but before actually starting to cut I decided to take a step back and apply a classic mantra: Keep it simple, stupid! (One of the very few things I retained from high school math.) After one more assessment and some basic reasoning I realized the pipe was not in fact busted, those were just seams. Crisis averted…but morning wasted. Doh! At least the flange was easy to replace. I got one with a built in rubber gasket that just slides inside the existing drain pipe.

By this time it was Wednesday evening (week one). I’ve got class until mid afternoon Thursday and the kids come back from their dad’s Thursday evening. It was becoming obvious that I was not going to have the bathroom back together by then. Ah well, onward and upward right?

Because my bathroom is on the small side I laid out all the tiles to see how they’d fit. I took some helpful YouTube video’s advice and measured the center of the room, laid a line of vertical and then another of horizontal tiles, adjusting as needed to fit before filling in the rest. I preferred the look of the tiles flush with the tub on one side which left about a two and a half inch gap on the other. There was a matching gap on the short wall that’s perpendicular to the door. I have a random assortment of smaller tiles in my basement, my first instinct was to see if any would fit. The closest I got was some 1×1 inch green tiles but they were thicker than the main ones and there wasn’t even close to enough for both spaces. Obviously a no-go but I liked the idea of a smaller tile mosaic border.

But first things first, I needed to cut some tiles to fit around the toilet opening, along the back wall, and around the floor vent space. I done mentioned my saw intimidation, turns out it was a non issue. My nice neighbor has a tile saw and was happy to lend it to me/teach me how to use it. Cutting the few tiles was really no big deal at all! I got that finished and the tiles refit Thursday just in time to pause and go pick up the kids. Little did they know it was going to be a frozen pizza, not even sit down together, dinner night. I had tiles to set!

Again with the thin set.

I was a little worried that I hadn’t used enough thin set with the backer boards (time will tell I guess) so maybe I overcompensated when I was laying the tile. At first I was making a giant mess but after a few I got the hang of spreading an even layer of mortar, raking it, and applying the tiles and spacers in an orderly fashion. My youngest thought the process was pretty cool and “helped” some. Mostly he watched but I did let him press a few tiles into place.

And then it was time to wait for the materials to set. Again. Friday and Saturday were both busy days and (I was working Friday night) so other than pulling the spacers out, nothing happened until Sunday…

On Sunday morning I got up early (for me), made my coffee and tried out some edging layouts with the glass/stone mosaic tile sheets I had picked up.

br2-edging-tile       These things are not cheap but I only needed two sheets. Also they’re apparently mostly used for back splashes and wall tiling but I found at least one website that talked about doing mosaic tiling on floors and the sides of the room are little to no traffic areas. Plus they’re the same thickness as the other tiles which, from what I could tell, was a key factor.

They were a little messy to put down and I definitely used a little too much thin set in a couple areas making them less than even but all in all the results aren’t too bad.

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I definitely like the what they add to the aesthetic of the bathroom..

Yes, I know, the walls are terrible. That’s something to take care of later in the process. After all the edging tiles were down I left them alone for a while and later that afternoon we grouted. BTW grout is Not the same as thin set. It also takes a lot of water to a little powder. My fifteen year old was roped into helping me with the grouting and we learned that the hard way. Let’s just say we had some extra grout mixed when all was said and done.

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Also, grouting is a messy, messy process. It cleaned up a little better than what you see there. After a day or two of letting the grout set, I applied a sealer. It was really not too exciting and didn’t change the appearance at all so I took zero pictures of that. I did take some of the purple paint on the back wall.

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Not the finished painting, obvs.

 

With the floor done and some paint on the wall it was time to start putting this thing back together. Well, at least get the toilet back in. It’s still not quite back together…but I’ll tell you more about the details of that another time.

Bathroom Renovation Part I: Destruction

As the super creative title of this post implies, I’ve recently renovated my bathroom. Well, technically speaking I’ve started some renovations on the small bathroom on the main floor of my beat up old house. Hopefully it will be finished this week. Originally I thought I’d bust out this update in a week but like so many things in life renovations never follow the schedule we think they should.

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I’ve been wanting to do something to that hot mess for a while but didn’t even know where to start. The peal and stick laminate tiles gave me the push I needed when they started breaking and pealing off revealing the wood sub floor beneath. Now that’s a classy look right there!

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One of my sisters had just tiled her bathroom wall and if she could do it I sure as shit could! which meant I had someone with first hand experience to tell me about the process. Between her and about a million YouTube videos on tiling a bathroom floor I had enough confidence to tackle tiling the floor. On top of that my sister had enough tiles left over from her wall to cover my floor.

So two Monday mornings back I found myself wandering around one of those big box hardware stores (you know, with the orange or blue signs) trying to convince myself that I am an Adult and I can handle this. There may have been a couple mantras being repeated as I wandered back and forth before finding the flooring supply aisle way at the back of the store.

Two cement backer boards and a 50lb bag of mortar later I was pushing an awkward cartful of goods out to my minivan.

That evening I took advantage of my teenage boys being home and destructed the bathroom…

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The toilet came out easily enough but the vanity put up a struggle.

sink-valves         The hot and cold valves were on the inside of the vanity and they were not fitting through those holes. My goal in life  this project was to do as little plumbing as possible. Taking the ends off these things did not mesh with that goal. Good thing I had bought a reciprocating saw (aka a Sawzall except that’s not the brand I got)! After some rough hacking the cabinet was free and it was onto scraping off the lingering floor tiles.

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And here’s what I found underneath. It’s really not as bad as it looks…other than that one corner. I’m not sure what happened there.

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It looks pretty rough and for a few minutes I thought I was going to have to do some leveling but after buying a larger level I discovered that this little patch of roughness was technically even. Booyah!

(That black ring from the toilet is a little ominous but I’m mostly sure it’s a result of the broken flange there.)

And then it was on to prepping for the tile.

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While I’m still not done, great strides have been made. Next time I’ll show you the finished tiling and maybe the painting too! Fun stuff all around.

It’s not the chase, it’s the intermittent reinforcement.

I briefly mentioned (in my exasperated rant about yet anther ghosting) that I have once again entered the dark and mysteriously alluring world of online dating, this time with an altered approach. For one I’m on a different site than last time (no more bottom feeders at POF for this girl…I’ve moved on to the (still free) illustrious pool of somewhat eligible bachelors matched to me via the very loose algorithms of OK Cupid.). And for two, I’m more interested in and open to an actual relationship this go round. Shocking, I know. It kind of snuck up on me too but I’ve realized I feel sort of…maybe..almost ready for a regular other person in my life. Whatever that means.

However, just because that’s what I think I  want right now does not mean it’s what I’ve gotten. While there does seem to be more candidates on this site, the dates I’ve been on have not been so different. There’s been the FriendZone guy (decent, easy to get along with, interesting but no chemistry), the boring guy (super available, not a lot going on in his life, nice but…nice), and, the one that seems to click, the Ghoster.

It’s the last one that gets me every time.

He’s fun, interesting, and makes me laugh, even gets my sense of humor. He meshes. Usually there’s something that makes me hesitant at first but a  few dates in and I start thinking “This has potential.” And then it happens. As soon as I start leaning towards wanting him around and feeling optimistic, he “Ghosts”. Dude just drops off the face of the earth never to be heard from again. I’ve experienced this a few times. And every time I’m infuriated.

But then it happens again.

Sometimes there are signs. He texts a little less or seems less engaged. Little things like that. I should be able to recognize the warning signs by now. And I sort of do. The problem is the warning signs make me want the dude more… I thought I just really liked the chase (in a lot of ways I am more like a stereotypical guy than girl. Seriously, don’t buy me flowers…give me beer and a burger and I’m a happy camper.) But then one day, in a somewhat frustrating but still rewarding texting situation with a friend, a light bulb dinged in my head saying:

“Intermittent reinforcement”!

See, this guy and I have a mostly texting based friendship. Occasionally we’ll talk about meeting up for a random adventure. And it has actually happened. Twice. In three years. Sometimes, okay maybe more than sometimes, I’ll randomly text him and he won’t respond. But then sometimes he does. Once in a while he’ll even text me out of the blue. I’m always super excited and kind of happy about it. This pattern has gone on for a while now, over a year (I’m almost embarrassed to admit). Little spurts of fun attention with spans of mostly being ignored or getting short answers in between.

Intermittent reinforcement.

I’ve taken a couple psychology classes (Or I’ve taken a psychology class a couple of times. Whatever. Basically the same thing.) and I remember B.F. Skinner and his rats.

Skinner, an early behavioral psychologist, studied rats and their response to reward based stimulus. He talked about operant conditioning and stuff. (Here’s the Wikipedia page to prove it.) One of the things that this Skinner dude found, way back before the middle of the 20th century, was that intermittent reinforcement was way more effective than continuous reinforcement. Meaning when we consistently get a positive (or negative) result from our actions it isn’t as exciting and, well, rewarding as when we only get that same result once in a while. We thrive off the unpredictability of the prize, it makes us crazy for more and drives us to increase the behavior for even just the chance of getting the reward.

In rat studies this looks like the rat getting a food prize every time it pulls the right lever versus only some of the time. The rat who only gets a prize some of the time will pull that damn lever over and over and over again. Think gambling and slot machines here. It’s exponentially more exciting and rewarding because we’re surprised when we get the reward and addicted to the possibility of getting a reward next time when we don’t. It’s a very effective training tool.

So what do rats and reinforcement have to do with dating?

Everything! Getting a response or attention from a person only some of the time instead of every time we try makes us want to try to get that person’s attention even more. Anyone who had done any online dating can probably give antedotal evidence of this. 

So I realized that I was engaged in a pattern of intermittent reinforcement with Fickle Texting guy. The fact that he didn’t respond every time, or even regularly, made me want interaction with him even more. When he did actually respond and interact it was like all the cherries lined up on the slot machine. Excitement and win ! When there was no response it was annoying and frustrating but I was still drawn to texting him again at random. Because he might respond. The possibulity was there. As soon as I recognized this dynamic with Fickle Texting Guy (I’m slow sometimes but eventually I get it.) I started to notice it other places in my life too, specifically in some of my past dating experiences.

Heck, I’ve been on the receiving AND the giving end of intermittent reinforcement.

I think we all have and that’s not necessarily unhealthy. At the beginning, in moderation, it’s part of what builds attraction. But, and this is a big butt, it can very easily become unhealthy and even feed into abusive relationship dynamics. Continued intermittent reinforcement basically gives one person control of the interaction pace and lends itself to a craving in the other person that goes largely unsatisfied. Again, think gambling addiction here. It’s the same thing.

SO now that I’m aware of this thing, what do I do with this it? 

Do I try to “hook” a guy using intermittent reinforcement? It does sound like a fun social experiment. But what kind of a relationship dynamic would that foster? And what kind of guy would I catch with that?

Seeking out guys who don’t engage in imtermittent reinforcement seems like a better idea. I mean, I’ve already proven to be good at finding the guy who is going to run away, probably after the next shiny thing. Identifying patterns of intermittent reinforcement early could be a good way to weed out the Ghosters before the disappearing act begins. This is something I’m going to mull over and keep in mind as I message new guys online and continue to try and find one who will not only stick around, but who I also actually want around. 

As for the guy who only responds to texts sometimes, it’s been about a month since I’ve restarted the intermittent reinforcement cycle and I’m not all that interested in doing so. Maybe knowing really is half the battle.

 

 

All about that base.

Baby, it’s cold outside! 8 degrees Fahrenheit according to my phone. That’s  -13.333 degrees Celsius (also according to my phone) and 259.82 Kelvin (just for fun).

This time of year it can be challenging, both physically and mentally to get out there and log those miles. When it’s dark and the temperature is well below freezing even at it’s peak hours, the couch, Netflix, and a blanket start to look way more appealing than going for a run. Add a nice winter beer or some hot chocolate and, yeah, running can wait. I can totally run tomorrow. And I will. Really I will.

But then you don’t and tomorrow turns into a week. Before you know it you’re feeling sluggish and gooey, mentally and physically, and (worst of all!) you’re losing your base level of conditioning, the one that makes it easy to just go out and train for whatever race goals you might have. Once you realize this you get sad and depressed. All the treats you’ve been eating really don’t help matters or the fact that you haven’t seen the sun in a while. It’s a slippery slope of doom. Five days into the New Year some of us might already be treading down that icy path.

If you’re one of those people…STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Not only is running outside possible during the winter months, it’s super fun once you master proper layering techniques and know how to prepare for the cold. Yes, I know I sound crazy but try it (a few times) and you’ll see. Going out for a run and making the elements your bitch is invigorating and exciting. Plus any tiny bit of sunlight you can get this time of year helps. The cold air adds a new level of challenge to running, but when you’re out there (or maybe once you’re done and can feel your extremities again) you feel like a bad ass for going out and running when so many others are cowering under the blankets. Don’t be a blanket cower-er. Be a runner!

I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life. Apparently we are the state with the second most miserable winters in the nation, a title I’ll proudly claim. I actually like the cold weather and love snow. (Again, yes, I know I sound like a crazy person.) For the past few years I’ve embraced the challenge of running in the cold and have learned a few things about staying warm and safe. So, in hopes of helping motivate some of you to get out and run (because treadmill running just isn’t the same), I’m going to share some tips for cold weather running success (or at least survival).

First, it’s all about that base! 

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the importance of layering in the cold weather but quality is as if not more important than quantity. You don’t just want to throw on five shirts and three pairs of running tights and go out in the cold. For one, you’ll feel overly bulky and won’t be able to move freely. And even worse, if you wear a cotton layer directly on your skin you will be a Popsicle as soon as you start sweating (Yes, you can sweat in ten degree weather.). Cotton gets wet and stays wet, keeping all that now-cold wetness right on your skin. That’s No Beuno!

There are lots of options for good base layers in a wide range of prices. Anything that is thin and “moisture wicking” will work. I’ve got tank tops, short sleeve, and (I think) one long sleeve moisture wicking  base layer shirt. Usually I’ll wear a tank top or short sleeve shirt, then a thinner (preferably also moisture wicking) long sleeve shirt, and, on top, a fitted fleece, water proof hoodie. If it’s very windy a fleece vest or lighter wind breaker type jacket can help.

Thin and water proof but warm is a good rule for the top layer. Again, there’s tons of this stuff out there. I got my two winter top layer sweaters on at TJ Maxx for less than $30 a piece. And really you don’t need more than one for starters as the top layer doesn’t get stinky as quickly as the under layers.

For my legs/bottom half I almost never wear more than one layer. I’ve got regular running tights and slightly insulated running tights. Both are great. Every once in a while I will add an insulating layer of very thin merino wool long underwear. Usually I regret it when I do though. Just one good pair of slightly thicker running tights that stop the wind can get you through a winter of running. This is one area where I wouldn’t cheap out (and I cheap out any and everywhere I can). Invest in a pair of cold weather specific running tights that fit well and will last you.

So here’s my concise guide to layering: On top, moisture wicking, fitted base layer, thin long sleeve insulating layer, warm and water/wind proof top layer that covers wrists, hands, and neck. On bottom, quality insulated running tights. In the extreme (or if you’re very sensitive) add a thin under layer.

Second, cover your mouth when you breath! (And your hands. And your feet.) 

Breathing in very cold air makes the old lungs burn pretty quickly and any skin that’s exposed will get cold. Any time it’s below freezing I don the face mask, pull my hat down low, and sometimes even zip my sweatshirt up to the top. The only thing exposed is my eyes… and sometimes not even that.

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  The face mask, one of my best friends in the winter.

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With the face mask breathing is easier and my face stays warm. There are also wrap style ones that you can pull up over your mouth and nose but I prefer my fitted, neoprene thing. It’s nice and snug, breathable and relatively comfortable. If it’s not super cold I can easily pull it off once I’m warmed up. Plus it’s pretty fun to pretend I’m a ninja while I’m out running. A bad ass, cold weather mastering ninja of awesomeness!

When it’s cold your body wants to protect its vital organs first so blood flow to the extremities decreases. This translated to cold hands and feet. A pair of quality gloves are a must for running in the winter! I find moisture wicking/water proof gloves that aren’t too thick are best. All the name brands make these (Underarmour and the like). They’re all good and usually in the $20 range. I think I got mine at Costco on sale for $10 last year. they’re Head brand and have served me well though they’re noticeably thinner the second season of wear.

Cold feet can also be an issue though slightly less of one since your feet are in constant motion on the run. Usually my feet don’t get cold unless I stand still for too long. So don’t! Water proof shoes are helpful, especially if you can find some with more tread. I also wear a pair of thinner wool socks (not the hefty hiking ones) when running in the snow. They insulate enough without making my feet sweaty. Warm and breathable = happy feet!

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These New Balance Maximus trail shoes have been my favorite winter runners so far.

Oh and, don’t skip the hat. A hood is not the same. I love my fleece lined, wind proof Dickies brand hat. Again, warm and breathable is the way to go. No matter how goofy you may look (Do any runners really care about that? If so maybe you haven’t run enough because no one looks pretty running.) you will not regret wearing a hat when it’s cold out.

Third, visibility…it’s important. This is always true if you’re out running on the roads or anywhere even close to traffic. In the winter, though, it’s more likely to be dark and dreary out. Snow or other crappy precipitation can impede visibility. So prepare. Don’t be an idiot, dress in obnoxious colors. I like my black and dark grey probably more than the next guy BUT I also like being alive and not having a brain injury and debilitating injury because I got hit by a car when I was out running. So, neon colors, reflective stripes/areas on you clothing and shoes, and carry a freakin flashlight or wear a headlamp if it’s even close to dark out. If you can see them that does NOT mean they can see you. Be safe! Safety is cool! Even if you think bright colors are not.

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My obnoxiously colorful layers of winter running clothes.

 

Fourth, don’t linger. So you layered up, you’ve got wool socks, gloves, a hat, and your mask on and it’s time to run. Great! My advice to you now is Run! Don’t walk. Moving keeps your body temperature up. If you have to stop at a traffic light or whatever jump around a little and keep your blood pumping. There’s a sweet spot somewhere beneath actually sweating and not moving. Luckily it’s not that difficult to find. usually by the time I’ve jogged a half mile I’m nice and warm but not overly so. By the end of a three mile cold weather run I may have pushed my sleeves up and taken off my hat or mask but I still don’t stop moving, not while I’m outside. If you start standing around after you’ve run you will get cold. So run and then get inside, take off some layers, and reward yourself with a hot cocoa or coffee. After all you went out and ran when most people wouldn’t. that deserves something.

It may be fierce out there but it is also beautiful!

That being said, I’m waiting until mid-day when it’s supposed to get up to 15 degrees (Fahrenheit) to run today.

Is it you or the rejection?

In the last month of 2016 I did this thing. Again. I created an online dating profile and threw my hat into the ring.

It had been close to a year since I conscientiously decided that my life had no room for dating. But then things started to feel different. I was…idk. Feeling more ready to have a regular someone? Or maybe I was just a little sadder and more lonely than usual. Maybe I was trying to distract myself from the lingering uncertainty and imminent disappointment of not having gotten a fall interview for dental school. Maybe I saw a few blank days on the calendar and, knowing how poorly I still handle more than three days in a row without my kids (especially when there’s no school to occupy my time), sought to fill them. Mostly I think I just wanted connection, positive human interaction to look forward to. And I found that. For a hot minute. Just.

A couple weeks into the process I had already been on three dates. One was fun but it was pretty clear the feelings were only platonic. One was a little awkward and almost boring. The other, though, that one had potential. It lead to a second then third date. There was the right amount of texting in between with banter, sarcasm, and regular conversation. He got my slightly sarcastic and jaded, dry sense of humor. It was great and on top of that he was local and had enough life stuff of his own going on to not be boring, desperate, or overly clingy. (In retrospect that’s a little ironic.) Both personally and logistically there was promise here. That is, until a few days ago. We had talked about “doing something” Monday or Tuesday. He said he was definitely interested. That was on Friday, I think, and regular texting continued for another day or so. And then… nothing. A-fucking-gain. Dude just stops responding to texts.

I’ve only sent two. One Sunday night asking Monday or Tuesday and one Monday afternoon saying “Welp, guess not today huh”. And, yes, it’s only Tuesday but given that there were tentative plans I’m taking this as a bad sign. This isn’t the first or, sadly, even the second time I’ve been “ghosted”. Maybe I’m wrong here but I highly doubt it.

So now I’ve been properly (re)disillusioned about dating. And it sucks. Again. It dredges up the same feelings as before. Frustration, anger, and some good ol’fashioned hurt. But did I really attach that fast? And if I did what the fuck is wrong with me??? It’s been maybe a month since the chatting and then texting began and only three dates. That’s not personal investment level time even if the guy seemed like a good fit. Which makes me wonder, is it him or just the rejection that’s got me all bent up inside?

Hell, maybe it’s the post holiday let down or the recent inability to sleep or the empty house and missing the kids. Or all of the above, along with the aforementioned looming dental school disappointment. Probably all of the above.

But, seriously, again?!?!

I think there’s some effed up homing mechanism in my head, like the thing that helps birds migrate back to the exact same spot every year except mine acts as a beacon to the guys who are going to disappear. Really I should start a service where I suss out the ghosters for other women. (I could be a Ghoster detector…a Ghoster Buster!) Because if I like them and there seems to be potential, well, chances are he’s going to disappear. Maybe it’ll be a few weeks, maybe a month or three, but one day he’ll just drop off the face of the earth. Figuratively speaking of course. Unless that’s what is literally happening. There could be a Bermuda triangle of guys I started sort of dating out there somewhere. That would explain a lot…

At any rate, I’m not sure how I want to let this affect my recent spate of online dating attempts. Is this the hot pan that I pull back from quickly, thankful the burn wasn’t worse, or the cold lake that I jump into and tolerate until I’ve adapted?

 

Another Year, Another Resolution

As I’ve previously mentioned, as in a year ago and the year before that, I really like a good resolution. A change on the calendar marking a fresh start is just invigorating.

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This past year didn’t mark changes the way 2015 did. It was sort of a maintaining, just have to get through it type year. Don’t get me wrong, I made progress but the changes were already in motion. I maintained nursing school and I just put the finishing paint touches on the guest room I’ve been working on since 2015.

So what changes does 2017 have in store. Quite a few I hope and the completion of several long term goals.

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I only have one resolution this year but I watched a Ted Talks video that says I shouldn’t share it. Goals that you keep to yourself are more likely to occur.

I support all you resolution makers out there. New year, new opportunities! Just remember, don’t tell!

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