I’m FINE.

It’s February. Therefore I’ve been back in for a little over a month. I’ve noticed that it takes about a month for me to adjust each semester to life back in school. During that month I’m a wreck and stressed-out, crabby, scary wreck. It’s like I somehow forget how to manage school, work and my house/social life. (Not that I really have a social life but the meager one I do have is important to me to maintain.) I just made it through that month and it wasn’t pretty.

I knew this semester was going to be rough going in. I have class Monday-Thursday and work every weekend which means there’s never a break. Like never, really, I’m not even exaggerating this time. The adjustment this time around took me a little longer. I was am irritated by never having time to do anything fun. After snapping at a my significant other, possibly multiple times, whining to everyone I know and generally bemoaning my situation I knew it was time for a change. I am not a miserable person by nature and staying in that space was helping no one, least of all me. Talking to people about it wasn’t helping much anyway. I’d get questions about my schedule which I would answer and then the person asking got that sympathetic look and asked how it was all going. My go-to answer, it’s fine. Because whether it was or it wasn’t it’s my situation and I have to deal.
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As my enviroment and circumstances weren’t going to change anytime soon the only option was to ovary-up and change my attitude. Boy, after January did I need an attitude change. I forget, every semester it seems, that I am choosing to do this. I’m choosing to go to school and choosing to work full-time. Ok, well the work full-time bit is more of a need/precaution. Afterall the goal of going to school is to make my life better. To have a career that’s enjoyable, money, and time to do the things that are really enjoyable. In the meantime I’m trying to counter-balance the debt that college classes entail.

So how do I go about changing my attitude? Well I listen to Eminem of course.
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And when I’m not feeling as angry…Ke$ha.
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I’m in my car a lot going. I’ve been trying to use that time wisely. To either unwind or call those I need to keep in touch with. I’m not sure when the last time was I spoke with my mom when not in transport. It helps. Reminding myself this was all a choice helps.

Between writing this post and finishing/publishing it I had to take a test. A test which I barely passed. It shouldn’t have been as hard as it was or rather I should have been more prepared. Just like that I went back to being FINE again. I had to remind myself on the way home to make like Elsa and let it go. A friend reminded me that we all have to bomb a few tests, it’s gonna happen. Besides the other choice it to hang on to it and let it stress me out. I’ve had enough of that and there’s plently to still stress about. But first is winter break. A much much needed winter break. Of course Professors have already given us homework and there are a million things to accomplish but they can be accomplished in pajamas and that makes all the difference.
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